I've been exhausted. I've had so many feelings for the past two weeks. I have to work through them myself, I know. Some of those feelings are the guilt I feel about being so frustrated with my mom in the past years. I can't change things and, yes, my mom was sometimes a difficult and controlling person. She was my mom, though, she did the best she could and I know she loved me and my siblings and her grandchildren so very much. We all loved her too. And, of course, she loved our dad and I take comfort in the knowledge that she is with him at this very moment.
I'm going to try something different for the next few days. I'm going to write about happy or funny memories of my mom. I'm hoping that those memories will help me get through this process...hmmm...I can't say a little easier, because I know that's not going to happen. Maybe just a little less difficult or painful...
I share this picture that I took of my mom when I was about seven. We were just being silly...
Oh, and the background to my blog, it's about the butterflies. Butterflies were very significant in my mom's life, especially after my dad died. When I see a butterfly, I think of my mom...
I remember after my mom died I seemed to search in my memory for times that we argued or I got mad a her for whatever reason, then i would feel incredibly guilty! It was like I was trying to torture myself! I think your approach is a good one.
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